The Moon is Disgusting

by That 1 Guy

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    After a few years of non-stop touring and sonic refinement. That1Guy has been writing and road testing some of his strongest material to date. Ready to record the new album, he decides to go to a real studio and hire a real sound engineer . The album was recorded and mixed in Northern California at Bay View Studios by audio legend Karl Derfler (Tom Waits, The Billy Nayer Show, the list goes on, he’s that good). Also recorded “almost live”, in the studio, this album is chalk full of magical songs about, you guessed it, the moon, cheese, fruit, and butts (almost in that order). No expense was spared in order to bring out maximum full frequency supersonic awesomeness, so we all win!

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released May 8, 2007

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Track Name: The Moon is Disgusting
Look up to the moon
whistle up a tune
keep it to yourself for now
this ain't no lie

Everybody knows
but nobody says
right between the devil
and the deep blue sky

The bigger the pond is
the fatter the geese
the deeper the water
the deeper the freeze

The sweeter the blood is
the fatter the fleas...

The sweeter the blood is
the fatter the fleas
the moon is disgusting
it's made of cheese

It's a wet cheese
left out in the cold
the moon is disgusting
or so I've been told

What you thought you knew
what you thought was blue
the reasons the werewolves
do the things
you heard they did

Tinker toys and bowls
lincoln logs and sieves
birds and bricks
with last year's stones
and this year's sticks

We'll get rid of the locks
but we're keeping the keys
eat all the bread
then we'll pay all the fees
sell off the dogs
then we'll train all the fleas

Strong in the elbows
but weak in the knees...

The honey tastes sweeter
when you anger the bees...

The honey tastes sweeter
when you anger the bees
the moon is disgusting
it's made of cheese

It's a wet cheese
left out in the cold
the moon is disgusting
or so I've been told
Track Name: Bananas
Shake 'em from the tree
stick 'em in your ear
make them think you care
because you
fake another tear

Don't know what to take
fishing in the dark
itching for a bite
and then you
catch another shark

Ringing all around
very hard to tell
break another sound
and we can
crack another bell

Matching all the cloths
itching in the legs
scratch 'em with your toes
and hatching
all the spider eggs

Happy howl and waggle
ugly gawk and gaggle
somewhere lost
from a to z

Angry are the funny
lava's hot and runny
backwards laughing at the sea

'Cause some bananas
are too big to see
once my brother
threw a banana at me
we found it on the ground
'cause it fell from the tree
I ate it off the wall
it was all meant to be
poking all around
but you just don't know
demanding new bananas
that just won't grow
hit them with a sack of oats
that we just won't sow
bananas in our hands
and we won't let go

Turn it up to ten
take it as a sign
I'll probably muck it up
but let me try it
one more time

Didn't see a thing
feeling in the dark
fell in love
with that 1 tree
and rubbing up against the bark

Tell me that I'm meek
floating out to sea
gawking at the geek
and then I find
the geek is me

Teeter on the brink
wish it all away
don't know
what to think
because they
ain't got much to say

Laughing while you're yelling
smiling while we're smelling
sappy underneath the tree

Clouded was the sound
crowded all around
saving face
but scraping knee

Slipping on the peels
when they fall to the floor
I hung around so long
my bananas got sore

Clapping with my hands
mad 'em mad slam the door
banana in the hat
must have been there before
shaking at the trees
hope bananas fall
shaky in the knees
'cause the trunk's too tall
flakey referee
don't agree
with the call
middle of the game
run away
take the ball

Now they're throwing
bananas a lot
you know that these are
all the bananas we got
buried in the sand
gonna rain gonna rot
keep them to yourself
once again thanks a lot

I ran with the banana
I thought was mine
yellow is the reason
we run this time
the little bit of green
that we took as a sign
the closest thing to good
that we thought we could find

With 20/20 eyes
but they still can't see
yet I could feel it burn
when they look at me
beat around the bush
it's the best way to beat
and once again
they're throwing bananas
they're throwing bananas...
Track Name: Mash
Mash mash mashing
butt ugly
butt it's clashing
like a rash
with all the passion
at the bottomless pit

Pit boss picking
the light bulbs
we were licking
getting thicker
if we bicker
like a bon of a sitch

No more mowing
no other
way of knowing
if we go
the way we're going
then we're glowing like this

Dead yet active
butt ugly
butt attractive
understanding underpants
but never getting the jist

Last...
and once again
and young and old
and big and brash
and in control
a butter roll
but just a dash
and whisper then
the secret kept
a secret stash
they're coming in
so incomplete
the income tax,
and now and then
and back and forth
and slow and fast
and traded for
we traded in our crazy cash
and further more
and farther forward
standing last
the future is...
the future
doesn't know it's past

Blood bath bashing
beneath
the teeth were gnashing
if we clown around
down under
sounding loud
like a fist

Sharp edge slashing
the ugly
colors splashing
if we dance around
the bun
surrounding
thunder like this

Baked in batches
we batten down
the hatches
matching all the matches
end to end
and tip to tip

Lots of chances
then breaking
all the branches
catching all
the cats we can
catch a cat
nap cat nip

Then...
we waited long
we waited in
our waiting pants
the captain's log
the captain
doesn't stand a chance
the caption says while standing in
his captain stance
he did this long
he did his
little captain dance
and weighted down
a heavy look
a lighter glance
and big and small
it happened there
it's happenstance
on top again
until we toppled over that
we understood
that under there
was underpants

Big, bad, and gorgeous
we need
a little more
just hold your horses
joining forces
'till we's twice
what we was
the sticks we're stacking
it's time
to get it cracking
neither luck
that we're lacking
back and forth
like we tug

Favorite phrasing
the albums
they were phasing
like the wicker
they were raising
way out deep
in the sticks

Mash mash mixing
the fixtures
that they're fixing
and the licks
we're eighty-sixing
to the end of the mix
Track Name: Oranges
Orange you glad
it's the shape
of the sound
just takes one taste
to know
there's oranges around
I'll take it back
but first I'll take
another bite-ta
I ate it then
because I thought
it looked ripe-pa

Sweeter now
but it was sour
last night
eyes full of citrus
'cause we got into
a fruit fight
sweet like candy
with your tongue
to the ground
build them up
and then we'll
break 'em all down

It's never over
'till the fat fruit
gets squeezed
we like to lick it
but it stung
on the lips
get out the glasses
and we'll
squeeze 'till
it stings
so could you hold
another urge back
like this

They mumbled reasons
that they wrecked
all their reps
another sucker
got too quick
with his quips
that's why we stumbled
when we took
such big steps
that's why we puckered
when we took
such big sips...
Track Name: Jigsaw
Sharp as a razor blade
sweet like toothpaste
old like Captain Hook
smooth like ice skates
new as a yugo
wise like an Eskimo
low like a mojo
cheap like a garden hoe
strange like a strange man
cold like a frying pan
still like an old shoe
smelling like doggie doo
acting like a zero
feeling like a hero
dumb like a doorknob
dull like a dumb job

Crooking up my own feast
cruising left due east
holding up a lamp post
full blown weenie roast
stiff like new jeans
jumping like jumping beans
creeping like a spider
lying like a liar
drooling like a mad dog
lost in the thick fog
stack me a full deck
I'm lost aw heck
gods in the pocket
fingers in the socket
got me a new look
hanging from a meat hook
bad like rotten meat
hot like canned heat
quick like fast feet
driving from the back seat
stray like an alley cat
grungy like a doormat
red like a stop sign
bold like a shoe shine
high like a wino
wide like a rhino
bright like the sunshine
pricking like a porcupine
sticking with the program
picking out the toe jam
underneath the full moon
made of cheese...

It will carve a perfect circle
it will cut through wood like butter
you know the grass
is always greener
and the gravity grows stronger
the bark is getting bigger
and the bit is biting harder
the bread is growing moldy
and the weeds are growing taller...
Track Name: Mustaches
Keeping your head
on your body
knowing the nose
on your face
knowing the reasons
we're naughty
shaving the lame
with much haste

I dug the texture
but I didn't dig the taste
I speak the language
but I can't recall
the hand shake

Felt kinda' guilty
'cause it felt like
such a waste
don't trust a soul
when all the mustaches
are fake-a

Under the rocks
is the water
under the ground
where it's safe
under the heat
where it's hotter
holding the nose
in its place

Telling a taller tale
happy pulling
on the leg
whistling dixie
till the 'stache
got in the way

I bought it
last time
just to prove
it was a fad

I only bought it
this time
'cause the mustache
was rad...

Ugly like that
kiss it on the lips
in the middle it sits
the hair was such a hit
and with a lip this fat
we can tickle all the bits
'cause with a 'stache this rad
the truth is going to slip

Looking your best
in the bottom
filling your pants
up with beans
soaking them long
like you oughta
busting apart
at the seams

They blame it on us
even though
it ain't our fault-ta
they say they're worthy
but they're seldom
worth their salt-ta
they'll only drive down
if they think
they know the deal
the birds were made of plastic
but the mustache was real

Ugly like that
kiss it on the lips
in the middle it sits
the hair was such a hit
and with a lip this fat
we can all tickle the bits
because with a 'stache this rad
the truth is going to slip...
Track Name: Dig
Under the ground
it's a-waiting for me
under the ground
it's a-waiting for you
under the sea
beneath the rocks and stone
under the sea
deeper than deep

Under the rug
it's a hardwood floor
under the floor
live the rat and the mouse
under the house
it's truth and ground
over my head
it's just the moon and that sound...

'Cause I, eye, I
see you biting your nails
you got your hands on the rail
brains in a pail

You can't just keep on
hanging around
put your eyes to the ground
you've got to dig dig dig dig it out

Dig it out
Dig it out
Dig it out
Dig it out
Dig it out
Dig it out
Dig it out
Dig it out
dig-a dig dig
yeah yeah yeah

Dig it in
Dig it in
Dig it in
Dig it in
Dig it in
Dig it in
Dig it in
Dig it in
dig dig
dig dig dig

Into the wood
I hit the nail on the head
into the wood
with a hammer of lead
up on the hill
I can see it all
over the hill
it's a long hard fall
keep chugging it down
'till you get your fill
keep chugging it down
'till you're blue faced ill
don't jack it around
keep chugging it down
don't jack it around

'Cause I, eye, I
see you biting your nails
you got your hands on the rail
brains in a pail

You can't just keep on
hanging around
put your eyes to the ground
you've got to dig dig dig dig it out

Dig it out
Dig it out
Dig it out
Dig it out
Dig it out
Dig it out
Dig it out
Dig it out
dig-a dig dig
yeah yeah yeah yeah

Dig it in
Dig it in
Dig it in
Dig it in
Dig it in
Dig it in
Dig it in
Dig it in
dig dig
dig
dig dig dig...
Track Name: Buttmachine
Just 'cause it's cracked
doesn't mean that it's broke
just 'cause it's a butt
doesn't mean it's a joke

With a heart like an apple
butt hard like a stone
stuck in the mud
'cause it stuck to the bone

...and this is how it starts
and this is what it seems
and this is who we are
and this is what will be

The future is all planned
and now comes to pass
artificial man
artificial...

End of the line
look at the time
time ticking
and tell me
that you think it's clean

Where there's a way
there is a lie
everybody
we trusted
not to be
so mean

What we discussed
was so disgusting
filling it up
and busting
at the seams

Putting the peas
out with the pies
everybody combusting
but the buttmachine

Cracked like a bell
but don't mean that it rings
and just 'cause it's shiny
don't mean that it's clean

The movement is over
the flush has begun
and just 'cause it's ugly
don't mean it's no fun

...and just because we can
it don't mean
that we should
and just 'cause
it's modern
don't mean
it smells good

Function over form
fiction over pain
and just because
it's chrome
don't mean
it won't stain

Single the word
double the talk talk
triple the babble
to tell me
what they say

Jingle the bell
held up in heck well
only the funny one
kind'a knows
the way

Putting the peas
out with the pies
everybody combusting
butt the butt
it seems

End of the days
end so abrupt
everybody corrupted
but the buttmachine

Buttmachine...Buttmachine
Buttmachine...Buttmachine
Buttmachine...Buttmachine
Buttmachine...Buttmachine

Buttmachine
...just like I told ya
sold your soul
...they sold it for ya
hold your own
...don't let them scold ya
hold your nose
...they'll blow it for ya

Half of the work
all of the class
can you show us
the reason
that it works
this well

Give it a jerk
spilling the gas
and I betcha
it's silent
but it might just smell

Half of the will
some of the time
all of the reasons
we left it
in the kitchen sink

Shining it up
another butt
more than half
of the battle
is that it
just might stink

Quick and the fast
gelatinous mass
so soft was the goo
and so we
poked right through it

Tree in the woods
making a sound
no one around
and so we
just say screw it

End of the line
look at the time
time ticking
and tell me
that you think
it's clean

Follow your nose
and the joke
not that nobody's laughing
but the buttmachine...
Track Name: How's 'Bout Those Holes in the Moon
How's...
...'bout them holes
in the moon
when it orbits low
we could reach up to
harvest cheese
and retrieve
all our things
from them
holes...
holes...

Burn the bread
throw it down
hit the floor
with the
butter side down
heavy hands
clapping
sounding out pounds
cut the night
like the thunder
thigh sounds

Wolf...
...takes our things
away he goes
no one sees
no one knows
why he takes
the things we own
or how they get
up in them
holes...
holes...

Don't look now
we're surrounded
by clowns
eyes they smile
but the mouths
they all frown (now)
big balloons
and they're
laughing out loud
eyes are black
and their noses
are red and round

We...
...never mind
we let them go
no one cares
so it goes
it's understood
open close
all good things
end up in
holes...
holes...

Cats fall out
of the trees
in this town
always land
with their paws
on the ground
no where to run
when there's blood
in the hound
ask me then
but the dogs
are here now

Lazy bones
But we'll
hunker down soon
far away
like the holes
in the moon
lucky day
but then to
fickle to try
types of toys
that made 'em
giggle then cry
hazy days
sticky
stumble in view
held together
'till we
tumble in two
cats they land
with their paws
on the ground
bread always lands
with the butter side down

How's...
...'bout them holes
in the moon
when it orbits low
we could reach up to
harvest cheese
and retrieve
all our things
from them holes...
Track Name: Guava
Take this train
take my turn
tell me
that you wanna
travel there
and then
you'll learn
Guava Guava

All for free
on the ground
squash it
with your palm-a
ripe as rain
all around
Guava Guava

Just 'cause the fog
is getting thicker
and all of the talk
is getting slicker
winning hearts
and he wears
what's in the hamper
all pompous and plump
too much to pamper

Gushy this
mushy that
squeeze it
if you wanna
push them
and they'll
push you back
Guava Guava

Right as rain
wrong as rope
tie it in a knot-ta
hoping yes
but hearing nope
Guava Guava

With no where to go
and now it's over
so clever the toe
hoof of a clover
we owe not a cent
but just one favor
then we notice
the hot and funny flavor

Under sold
underwear
teach them
what they
taught ya
what we're told
why we're scared
Guava Guava

in the air
in the cage
bite us
in the bottom
not enough known
at this stage
Guava Guava