Keeping your head
on your body
knowing the nose
on your face
knowing the reasons
we're naughty
shaving the lame
with much haste
I dug the texture
but I didn't dig the taste
I speak the language
but I can't recall
the hand shake
Felt kinda' guilty
'cause it felt like
such a waste
don't trust a soul
when all the mustaches
are fake-a
Under the rocks
is the water
under the ground
where it's safe
under the heat
where it's hotter
holding the nose
in its place
Telling a taller tale
happy pulling
on the leg
whistling dixie
till the 'stache
got in the way
I bought it
last time
just to prove
it was a fad
I only bought it
this time
'cause the mustache
was rad...
Ugly like that
kiss it on the lips
in the middle it sits
the hair was such a hit
and with a lip this fat
we can tickle all the bits
'cause with a 'stache this rad
the truth is going to slip
Looking your best
in the bottom
filling your pants
up with beans
soaking them long
like you oughta
busting apart
at the seams
They blame it on us
even though
it ain't our fault-ta
they say they're worthy
but they're seldom
worth their salt-ta
they'll only drive down
if they think
they know the deal
the birds were made of plastic
but the mustache was real
Ugly like that
kiss it on the lips
in the middle it sits
the hair was such a hit
and with a lip this fat
we can all tickle the bits
because with a 'stache this rad
the truth is going to slip...